An open message to JJ Abrams

Dear JJ –

I like you. I like almost everything you’ve handled. Well, almost everything.

Mr. Abrams – I’m asking you. Please stop all the precocious Star Wars gag/teasers. I’m fine with the concept. But, don’t ask us to believe that you are personally handling your own social media accounts.

Here’s the latest image from the Abrams machine.

I love it. It’s both classy and nerdy, all at once. But, here’s the thing. I don’t believe for a single moment that you,  JJ Abrams, wrote this notecard, took the time to overwrite the word “tiny” several times with a marker, and then got out a blue and red fine-tipped pen to complete the laser battle. That’s not to mention all the detail that went into the explosion.

Here’s what I will believe you contributed to this piece, Mr. Abrams. Possibly someone was able to copy your natural penmanship. And you did order the stationary.

At this point, I even think the asterisk gag was written and approved by your social media handlers.

Anyway… As an original trilogy fan – and as someone who loved L O S T to pieces – I hope for a couple of things:

1. You get all the moneys in the world because the new Star Wars is as good as the new Star Trek  movies.

2. We can all get past the fake “I drew a picture and then took a picture of it and sent it out on social media”.

You’re better than this, JJ.

And your signature looks like a pair of buttocks…

Sincerely,

CCG