Casual List-a-mania: Top 10 X-Men of all Time

I’ve been sitting on this info for a while, but back in October, Marvel released the results of their “official” list of the top 50 X-Men of all time. Their “panel of experts” made some interesting choices for the best-of list.

The list seems a bit focused on getting the superfans excited, which makes sense. I don’t know that casual comic fans can even name 25 X-Men, let alone 50. So, I’ll briefly touch on Marvel’s rankings of  41-50 before giving you my own, “Official Top-10 X-Men of All Time (for casual readers).

Marvel’s Official Top 50 X-Men (#41-50)

#50 Sabretooth – Nope. Not an X-Man. I asked Hugh Jackman.

#49 – Joseph – Did he have an amazing technicolor dreamcoat?

He actually would have looked cooler with a rainbow trench coat.

#48 – Husk – I think they misspelled “Hulk”.

 #47 – Armor – OK. I’m good with Armor. I think I saw her in Joss Wheedon’s run on Astonishing X-Men.

#46 – Darwin – Is this a historical crossover where the X-Men try and find the father of the theory of evolution?

His mutant power is “muttonchops”

#45 – Marrow – Who now?

#44 – Pixie – Come again?

#43 – Sage – Apparently appeared in a title called “X-Treme X-Men” published in 2001. Probably drank a lot of Mountain Dew, too. For shame…

They appear to be led by Jem. She is, after all, “truly outrageous”

#42 – Mimic – “The first non-mutant X-Man” according to Marvel. Non-mutant? Disqualified.

#41 – Juggernaut – Not a mutant and ALSO a villain? They must’ve been scraping when they tried for a list of 50.

Now that the foolishness of Marvel’s rankings are behind us, let’s move on to the foolishness of my rankings.

Casual Comic Guy’s Top 10 X-Men of All Time – Now, and Always

#10 – Wolverine (Marvel Rank = 5)

This is more from obligation than anything else. I think you get your comics card revoked if you don’t include Wolverine in the list of top 10 X-men. You can argue, but you will not be successful. The little hairy mutant did a lot to popularize comics back in the 80s.

#9 – Colossus (Marvel Rank = 8)

While we’re talking about Logan, we’ll slot his “Fastball Special” partner right here. Nine sounds about right for the muscular Ruskie. Da, Tovarisch?

#8 – Iceman (Marvel Rank = 12)

Being one of the original X-Men gives him the bonus points needed to bump him above Wolverine and Colossus on my list.  Looking like a snowman with boots in his first appearance makes sure he freezes up at eight.

I’m surprised Marvel left two original team members out of the top 10. I only left out one of them, and only because having weird bird wings does not make you interesting (I’m looking at you, Angel).

And, he liked to do some snow pole dancing, too.

#7 – Nightcrawler (Marvel Rank = 2)

A great character design and cool back story allows Nightcrawler to BAMF his way to seven on the list. Plus, he’s an excellent swordsman who gets bonus points for a sweet 80s miniseries all his own.

#6 – Kitty Pryde (Marvel Rank = 1)

I don’t know many comic fans who didn’t have a crush on Kitty in the 80s. It makes me think that Marvel’s panel was all men ages 35-50.

Singer’s X-Men made a terrible mistake trying to make Rogue the romantic lead instead of Kitty. Double bonus points for having a pet dragon and for holding her own in a co-starring role with Logan in the “Wolverine and Kitty Pryde” 80s mini-series. Loses half a point for changing to a terrible, terrible hairstyle in that series.

Your sword technique is impeccable, but the hair is unforgivable.

#5 – Cyclops (Marvel Rank = 5)

Charles Xavier’s second-in-command for the largest portion of my memory, Scott Summers is also the Kevin Bacon of Marvel mutants. I haven’t checked online for a “how are they related” chart, but I’m sure one exists. And, I’m sure if you check, Scott is related (father, brother, cousin, in-law) to at least a third of the mutants in the Marvel U.

Five seems like the right spot for a character who is so tied in to the mythology of Marvel mutants, yet is simultaneously so bland. He’s the “Archie” of the Marvel Universe – a competent guy with two chicks who are both WAY out of his league (Emma Frost, Jean Grey) fighting over his affection.

#4 – Firestar (Marvel Rank = Not Ranked)

I was SHOCKED that she didn’t make the top 50. Especially when some fool named “Joseph” was on the list.

Firestar may not have had the most memorable run as a member of the X-Men, but she gets a bonus point for a Marvel mini-series in the 80s and triple points for being one of Spider-man’s Amazing Friends. Did Husk (whoever she is) have either of those?

And I love her costume redesign for Ultimate Alliance 2.

#3 – Beast (Marvel Rank = 3)

Brains, agility, and pretty durn strong. Beast put together the whole package with wry wit and a furry blue coat. Extra points for being an original member of the team.

#2 – Jean Grey (Marvel Rank = 9)

Points for being an original member of the team, plus she’s woven into the basic mythos of the entire Marvel U with the Phoenix Force. She misses out on the top spot, losing points for actually being part of the Scott Summers love quadrangle (once you throw in Logan).

#1 – Storm (Marvel Rank = 4)

The baddest of the bad and coolest of the cool, Storm tops my list of best X-Men of all time. She’s number one because she rocked a sweet mohawk in the 80s and she beat Cyclops in a one-on-one battle for team leadership while she had lost her powers. That’s right – even with no powers, she kicked Scott’s sorry mutant backside.

May be the greatest single X-Men issue of all time.

Agree? Disagree? That’s what the comments section is for.

Cheers!

– CCG

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Posted on December 27, 2013, in Featured, Top 10 Lists and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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