As I’ve been keeping up with this blog, I’ve had to do more research than I previously thought. At first, I thought this was a lark, and I’d be able to make silly comments about comics “on the fly” as the kids say. However, I’ve spent way more time than I thought poking through the internet searching for references and/or just the right image for a blog post. Believe it or not, I’ve spent hours to create a single post. And, having re-read some of them, I wouldn’t blame you for not believing it.

One valuable insight emerged from this journey of self-discovery. I finally figured out why I always liked Marvel much better than DC. The older DC comics are just too darn stupid. I’m not saying that you won’t find silly, crazy, or dumb Marvel Comics. They just never sunk this low.

To illustrate my point, here are the five worst Batman comic covers I’ve come across in my year-and-a-half of blogging (casually) about comics.

5: Batman and Robin ride bucking broncos (for no apparent reason)

What in the name of sam hill is going on here? Have Batman and Robin joined a rodeo with a dual ride event? Have they traveled back in time and they’re trying to tame the last of the wild horses? The hot red background that is currently blistering my retinas gives me no context.

4. Batman, Fashion Maven

Why does Batman have a costume in every color imaginable? What is that weird looking TV mounted on the wall behind him? Is the Dark Knight really checking himself out in that mirror? The look on his face tells me he really wants to ask “Does this cape make my butt look big?”

3. Penny Farthing Race Day

Was this a common thing in the early days of Detective Comics? Just having Batman and Robin riding stuff over a glowing-hot splash of color? What is Batman so mad about? He seems like kind of a spoil-sport. Just because Robin won this unofficial race (I don’t see a finish line, so I imagine they were just racing down the Bat-driveway to the Bat-curb) he’s all peeved. You don’t have to be the best at everything Batman. You can forgive yourself for not spending several years honing your body into the ultimate penny farthing racing engine.

2. Worst Disguise Ever…

I’m with the lady in the red dress. Wait a minute… Maybe we’re in the Matrix. They’re not tricking the bad guys into thinking they’re mummies. But why is Robin wearing his domino mask under the bandages. That’s just not practical. This is actually an issue I might look up at some point. The nonsense quotient is strong with this one.

1. Worst heroes ever

I know that The Penguin is a villain, but really… There’s a human being getting electrocuted right in front of you. If he doesn’t fry from the power lines, he’ll probably plunge to his death.

Does his grisly death give you a chuckle, fellas? Try not to find it so hilarious, dynamic duo.

Anyone else got any terrible Batman covers to share?

– CCG